Justin and I have been married for 7 1/2 years and we started trying to have biological children pretty soon after our last dance. To make a very long story short - we both have some fertility issues and we've been unable to have children. In those years together, with 5 more before the actual wedding, we've become a solid team of two. We have our ups and downs, but in the end we are a couple of people meant to be together forever. Our faith and belief in God has strengthened our love and over time we realized God had a plan for us to raise children in a way we had only briefly considered. There had been times when I talked to Justin about feeling the call to adopt a child and we discussed the possibility of doing just that after having our own biological children.
A few years ago we went to an orientation meeting for becoming foster/pre-adoptive parents through the Department of Children and Families (DCF). The meeting was informational but it didn't feel like something we were ready to jump into.
Flash forward to December 2016 - I was having a hard time with not being able to have children the "old-fashioned" way and was talking to my therapist about all the emotions that come with infertility. He said something that has stuck with me since that day - "maybe you were not meant to give birth children, but to raise children." That was the moment that it all clicked for me. Of course my husband and I were going to raise children, but that didn't mean I had to be pregnant for 9 months and actually deliver them. It meant that we were going to parent children. We were going to provide a safe and loving home for children. It meant that we were going to have "up-all-nighters", dirty diapers, first steps, first words, and lots of love.
I made a phone call to the local DCF office and was quickly enrolled in the mandatory 10-week MAPP training. MAPP stands for Massachusetts Approach to Partnerships in Parenting. The class was eye-opening. There were five instructors, including a current foster parent, and about 10 other people taking the class. We talked about the highs and lows, the ins and outs, and the goal of foster care - reunification. That was probably the part that scared me the most. My biggest fear was (and still is, although not as strong) not being emotionally able to let go of the children that would be coming into our lives. Justin and I talked about it and decided we would take each situation as it came - staying close together through everything. I've been reminding myself that "babies need attachment more than foster parents need to be protected from it."
So, where are we now? We've finished our classes, our fingerprints have come back, and our CORIs (criminal record check) have processed. We had our meeting with our Family Resource Worker (FRW) and she is working on/finishing/has already completed our Home Study. Essentially we are waiting for a phone call. We have bins of clothes that have been donated, purchased, and gifted; we have toys, sheets, bath toys, bottles, sippy cups, some diapers and wipes. Things are not even close to being "ready", but what parent is ever 100% ready? We need to paint the bedroom and figure out where all the stuff is going - but it will happen. Everything will fall into place, or it won't and we'll figure things out on the fly. That's the exciting part, right?
I've enjoyed blogging before and this is going to be a long journey that I feel needs to be documented. I have no expectations of posting or keeping this going for years to come, but it will be an organic thing that will grow as our family grows. I'm hoping to share stories, information, ideas, and emotions. I'll start off with some pins I've found on Pinterest that have struck a chord with me over the past few months.
Here's to our new adventure!
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