6 Week Meeting and a Llama

So much has happened in the past couple of weeks.  I honestly cannot believe that our Little Dude will have been with us for 4 weeks this Tuesday.  Drop-off, pick-up, bath time, meal time, play time, nap time, and all the other times - it's cliche, but time really does fly.  

We had the 6-week placement meeting with DCF last week. Even though he's only been with us for 4 weeks he has been in the care of DCF for 6, and that is the first time a meeting occurs between all the people involved.  At this meeting there was Justin and I, LD's social worker, the social worker's supervisor, our FRW, and the site supervisor (I think that was her title).  Little Dude's bio-mom was also invited but not present. The meeting was basically a review of how everything has been going.  The site supervisor led the meeting and began by asking LD's social worker about why he was removed from Mom's care.  The conversation was informative and I'm so glad we were there to hear more about our LD's story. The conversation shifted to how our guy has been doing and what types of services he's receiving and what he needs.  The supervisor was great about explaining why and what was happening. We were also asked if we needed any additional resources. We learned about the next steps - a court date at the end of May, then (if LD stays in DCF custody) another DCF review meeting.  I honestly can't remember if that will happen at 3 months or 6 months. I think it's a 3 months, then there is another one at 6 months, and finally a fourth meeting around 9 months to talk about LD's permanency plan.  

The permanency plan is what Little Dude's track is - reunification or pre-adoptive.  Most, if not all, children who are removed from the care of their parents have a goal of reunification.  It's incredibly complicated and I don't have enough knowledge to share without muddy things, so I'll just say this - LD's plan is reunification. In my heart I know the best place for him is with his biological family if they can provide a safe and loving environment. However, my heart also knows that there will be a hole if LD leaves us.  There are lots of prayers in this house for our Little Dude to always be in a place filled with love. 

In addition to that meeting we've also scheduled a couple appointments with different specialists and are waiting to hear back from a few more. We are transitioning to a new daycare that is closer and will give LD more opportunities with kids his own age. We've had a visit with our FRW and his SW, and LD has had a visit with his Mom at the DCF office. 

We've taken our Little Dude to the park, out to eat, to church, to family functions, and to the library to meet a llama.  These have been the best times!  It's so much fun watching him watching everything around him.  He's so nosy! We always have to remind him to actually look at what he's eating because he's too busy smiling at anyone who catches his eye. He loved the park, especially the slide. It was a lot of work for him to walk up and down the hills and climb the stairs to the slide. I think I was more excited about meeting the Llama at the library. LD was interested, but was more excited about being in a new place with other kids.  Such a fun experience for both of us. Today was a day with Justin. I love that he is so comfortable taking care of and hanging out with LD.  He's always on the floor with him, playing, making him laugh, getting him to eat, and just being a great Dad. 

I'll keep the updates coming, but don't mind me if I can't write as often as I'd like to - I'm probably busy hanging out with our Little Dude! We've got a long weekend coming up and we have nothing scheduled.  My mom might be coming up for a visit and meeting LD for the first time!  Another person to spoil him and love him.  What a lucky Little Dude! 

The Journey Begins

This is the beginning of our journey down a road that will likely have bumps, wrong turns, dead ends, surprises, laughter, learning, faith, and love. It is also the beginning of a journey that will undoubtedly change our lives forever. We are becoming foster parents.

Justin and I have been married for 7 1/2 years and we started trying to have biological children pretty soon after our last dance. To make a very long story short - we both have some fertility issues and we've been unable to have children. In those years together, with 5 more before the actual wedding, we've become a solid team of two. We have our ups and downs, but in the end we are a couple of people meant to be together forever. Our faith and belief in God has strengthened our love and over time we realized God had a plan for us to raise children in a way we had only briefly considered. There had been times when I talked to Justin about feeling the call to adopt a child and we discussed the possibility of doing just that after having our own biological children.  

A few years ago we went to an orientation meeting for becoming foster/pre-adoptive parents through the Department of Children and Families (DCF). The meeting was informational but it didn't feel like something we were ready to jump into.  

Flash forward to December 2016 - I was having a hard time with not being able to have children the "old-fashioned" way and was talking to my therapist about all the emotions that come with infertility. He said something that has stuck with me since that day - "maybe you were not meant to give birth children, but to raise children." That was the moment that it all clicked for me. Of course my husband and I were going to raise children, but that didn't mean I had to be pregnant for 9 months and actually deliver them.  It meant that we were going to parent children. We were going to provide a safe and loving home for children. It meant that we were going to have "up-all-nighters", dirty diapers, first steps, first words, and lots of love. 

I made a phone call to the local DCF office and was quickly enrolled in the mandatory 10-week MAPP training.  MAPP stands for Massachusetts Approach to Partnerships in Parenting.  The class was eye-opening. There were five instructors, including a current foster parent, and about 10 other people taking the class.  We talked about the highs and lows, the ins and outs, and the goal of foster care - reunification.  That was probably the part that scared me the most. My biggest fear was (and still is, although not as strong) not being emotionally able to let go of the children that would be coming into our lives.  Justin and I talked about it and decided we would take each situation as it came - staying close together through everything. I've been reminding myself that "babies need attachment more than foster parents need to be protected from it."  

So, where are we now?  We've finished our classes, our fingerprints have come back, and our CORIs (criminal record check) have processed.  We had our meeting with our Family Resource Worker (FRW) and she is working on/finishing/has already completed our Home Study. Essentially we are waiting for a phone call. We have bins of clothes that have been donated, purchased, and gifted; we have toys, sheets, bath toys, bottles, sippy cups, some diapers and wipes. Things are not even close to being "ready", but what parent is ever 100% ready? We need to paint the bedroom and figure out where all the stuff is going - but it will happen.  Everything will fall into place, or it won't and we'll figure things out on the fly. That's the exciting part, right? 

I've enjoyed blogging before and this is going to be a long journey that I feel needs to be documented.  I have no expectations of posting or keeping this going for years to come, but it will be an organic thing that will grow as our family grows.  I'm hoping to share stories, information, ideas, and emotions.  I'll start off with some pins I've found on Pinterest that have struck a chord with me over the past few months. 

Here's to our new adventure!